Tantrums, Sharing and Big Feelings: Helping Toddlers Through Behaviour Stages
If your sweet child has turned into a small storm of meltdowns, hitting and “MINE!”, you haven’t done anything wrong and your child isn’t “bad.” These behaviours are normal, predictable stages of development. Understanding why they happen makes them far easier to handle — and much less stressful for you.
The reason behind the behaviour
Toddlers feel enormous emotions with a brain that hasn’t yet learned to manage them, and often without the words to explain what’s wrong. A tantrum isn’t manipulation — it’s a small person genuinely overwhelmed and unable to cope in that moment. Once you see it that way, your job shifts from stopping the behaviour to helping them through the feeling.
Tantrums
- Stay calm yourself — your steadiness is what your child borrows to settle. Meeting a storm with a storm makes it bigger.
- Name the feeling: “You’re really angry the toy stopped.” Being understood often takes the heat out of it.
- Keep everyone safe, and don’t try to reason mid-meltdown — wait for the wave to pass, then reconnect.
- Where you can, head them off: hunger and tiredness are behind a huge share of tantrums.
Not sharing
Toddlers aren’t selfish — the concept of sharing genuinely hasn’t developed yet, and that’s normal. Model sharing yourself, praise it warmly when it happens, use gentle turn-taking (“your turn, then her turn”), and keep expectations realistic. It comes with time and practice, especially around other children.
Hitting, biting and pushing
Usually this is frustration without the words to express it, not malice. Calmly stop it, keep it low-drama, name the feeling underneath (“you wanted it and got cross”), and show the alternative (“we can say ‘no’ or come get me”). Big reactions can accidentally reinforce it, so keep your response steady and consistent.
Consistency is the real secret
Whatever approach you choose, children thrive on knowing what to expect. Calm, consistent, loving responses — the same way, every time — help a toddler feel secure enough to gradually learn control. It’s slow, repetitive work, and it does pay off.
How good care helps
Being around other children, guided by caregivers who handle these moments skilfully every day, is genuinely good for a toddler’s behaviour. They get gentle, constant practice at sharing, waiting and managing feelings — with experienced adults modelling calm responses. Many parents notice their child grows more settled and cooperative once they’re in a warm group setting. (For the mealtime version of all this, see Handling Picky Eating and Mealtime Struggles.)
A calmer, more confident child
Our experienced caregivers guide children through these stages every day, with patience and consistency — helping them build the social and emotional skills that make the toddler years smoother for everyone. Come and see how. Book a visit to one of our campuses.
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